dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
