Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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