is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
