I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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