Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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