I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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