I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
