I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
