He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize