If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my shit smells like andre
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
