you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
