i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
