better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
