i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
