walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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