We need to rekindle our bromance
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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