oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
