How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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