There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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