I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
