absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
