This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We're too hungover to prance.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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