speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
