Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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