How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
