marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
