I'm really into asian looking animals
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the raccoons are back...
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