...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
