Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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