No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
