found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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