Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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