remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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