she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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