Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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