Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
