OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
