i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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