you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
