I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
