Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
