of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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