i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
