we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
