he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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