maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
