do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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