The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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