Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
