Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
