drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
