recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
