she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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