you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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