in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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