If i come over, it means nothing
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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