I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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