I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize