Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
