STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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