So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
