Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
