White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
